I'b sick

I woke up in the wee hours Sunday morning with a scratchy throat and cough. I couldn't go back to sleep, and since then haven't really done much more than doze off before my coughing wakes me up. (This situation is about to improve, however. I got a prescription for the Magic Elixir of Life, Sleep and Everything, aka cough medicine with codeine. Better living through chemistry. Piña Colada-flavored chemistry.)

Anyway…since I can't really think of anything to blog about except how congested I am, the best I'm going to be able to do is a bunch of little snippets. Tidbits. Okay, a file of notes about things I could have possibly blogged about someday, if I had really put my mind to it. But my mind seems to be preoccupied with…let's call it mucus.

So here are a bunch of unrelated snippet-paragraph-bits. Then I'm going back to bed.

• Whenever I cough or sneeze, Izzy, our Siamese mix, chitters in response. We used to have a cat who'd meow once whenever anybody sneezed, as if she were saying, "Bless you," but Izzy just seems annoyed by the noise. If I do it too many times, she gets up and leaves the room, chittering to herself.

• Meaningful, inspirational quotes are only good in short doses, then they start to cloy. Going through a file of quotations I've collected myself, I realized that if you read too many of them they just sound corny.

• Things I hate: Droopy socks. Dark or black backgrounds on websites. Bad grammar—not the really esoteric, nobody-really-knows-the-rule kind of things, but the obvious things that everybody who made it out of elementary school ought to know. "You should have went with us." Wrong. "Al don't care." Wrong. Any sentence involving the word "ain't." Wrong and very annoying, too.

• Things I'm grateful for: My friend, Jason, of First National Bank Town Square. He suggested an alternative to a depressing financial situation we were facing a few months ago, and I owe him big time (figuratively). He handed me an option that's going to so improve the quality of my life! They're great people over there, so if you're in the Southlake area, really, give them a try. My friend Jean, of Keener Financial Planning, who just retweeted, forwarded and posted on Facebook to help out a business colleague launching a new career. I have to say, both personally and professionally, she's worth getting to know, on so many levels. If you're ever thinking of working with a financial planner, absolutely give her a call!

• Don't feed a cat mushrooms. Mind you, I'm basing this on one elderly cat with many digestive problems, but I don't think feline digestion and mushrooms are quite compatible. This elderly cat would eat them, eagerly, but half an hour later they'd reappear, absolutely unchanged. That can't be good.

• I don't know how unusual this is, but neither Rich nor I have a "side of the bed." Of course, we don't switch back and forth at home; we each have our own pillows, nightstands, books, etc. But when we travel, we're content to sleep on whichever side we end up on (usually determined by who puts their stuff down first). We even switched sides between our old house in S.A. and our house here.

• I do, however, have a "side of the booth" in a restaurant. My right hand has to be to the outside, and I could not explain why if my life depended on it. It just does, and I'm actually a little uncomfortable if I have to sit on the other side. (Compulsion much?)

• One little tiny NHL note in an otherwise hockey-free post: Anaheim Ducks goalie Jonas Hiller's helmet really and truly looks like it's covered in satin. Fancy! 

• I was forced to admit some years ago that burp humor makes me laugh. I laugh against my will, but I still laugh. Hard. And I'm so not proud of it. Tim Allen does a routine that leaves me with tears running down my face. Please don't tell anyone.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. I'll get back to you when I'm feeling human again.

Great googly moogly!

My friend Joe keeps saying that I need to go to work for the Dallas Stars. I keep telling him that they already have a lot of knowledgeable people doing a lot of different things, and I'm really not sure there's really a place in the organization for me. I mean, there's nothing I know more about than the people already there.

But I might be wrong.

http://bit.ly/zFgp3Y
http://bit.ly/zhGwFu
http://bit.ly/y2f89U
http://bit.ly/z74Ncq
http://bit.ly/wG3Gze

Oy.

Cracked.com, hands down one of the best sites on the Interwebs, has another brilliant entry today, 9 Foreign Words the English Language Desperately Needs. I'm going to learn how to pronounce and spell each and every one of them, and begin using them immediately, but I'm especially pleased to report that the the word ranked Number One is Finnish.

I have some modest, once-removed pride in that, since we have a number of Finnish friends (Erik was here visiting just last week). And also because I am one of the Finnish word, pilkunnussija. I'll let you look it up, just to keep the language here G-rated. But I am one, oh yes I am. At least in my mind. I don't always, or even usually, say it out loud, but I am one. I correct the grammar of TV characters. I support the Apostrophe Protection Society with all my heart. And I judge everything you write. Everything.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go phone a kaelling before I get down to some shemomedjamo.

TV is my life

Well, it apparently kind of is my life, in that we watch a lot of it. That's kind of how Rich and I spend time together in the evenings, sitting in the living room, him usually casually browsing on his laptop and me knitting, watching TV at the same time. Yes, I know, it's mindless and vacuous, and has no doubt rotted our brains and dulled our faculties. And, yes, I know that you, yourself, don't even own a TV. That's true of all the better people with finer minds. Still, that's how we roll.

For about 15 years, we've had Replay TV. It's a Tivo-type thing, but a different brand, and it was pretty cool in its day. It was the cause of a lawsuit over "commercial skipping" software: all three of our Replay machines have this handy setting that allows them to jump from black screen to black screen in a recorded program, thereby (usually) jumping over all the commercials in a break. Handy. But, alas, the Replays' time is past. It's only SD and is no longer supported. The machines themselves are starting to wear out. The Replay in the living room, for example, periodically resets itself whenever we try to scroll the program guide up (it's okay with down).

The programming that comes into the Replay boxes comes from DirecTV. We have phone service and FIOS Internet from Verizon. So our choices were pretty much going to be DirecTV DVR service or Verizon FIOS TV. I started comparing.

I read all of DirecTV and Verizon's online info. I made phone call after phone call after phone call. I got salespeople to look at our accounts and give me the actual, exact, specific price we would see on our monthly bill.

(One interesting side note, for what it's worth: in doing all this, I discovered DirecTV had been making a small billing mistake for years. Well, actually, they discovered it. At the same time, I questioned Verizon about a small charge for a feature that appeared to be—and, in fact, was—included in our package. They acknowledged that it should have been included in the package price. DirecTV credited our account with the $220 they had overcharged. Verizon agreed to stop overcharging us in the future.)

Anyway, I did endless research, comparing features and finding out what equipment and service we'd have to get from each one of them to replace what we have now. I talked to countless Verizon and DirecTV employees, some of them knowledgeable, some completely clueless. I made charts comparing features and prices. I talked to Rich and came away with new questions, triggering another few rounds of phone calls. After two months of this, it boiled down to this:

• We both like DirecTV better.
• Verizon would cost $3800 less over the next three years.

Thirty. eight. hundred. less. Staggering, no? It's such a dramatic difference because adding TV to our existing Verizon service, with all the deals we'd get, only added about $35 to their bill. Going with DirecTV service, itself reasonably priced, meant we'd also still be paying the separate Verizon bill. So there you go. Decision made. Service installed. Happy ending. Except the Verizon DVRs don't do what Verizon said they'd do.

I only thought I was done.

Today I'll be talking to Verizon to see if there's a way we can get it to work. And talking to DirecTV, begging them to reduce their price so we can consider them again. Mostly, I'll be trying to take care of a household matter that I've been working on for TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS! I keep thinking I'm done with it, and it bounces right back.

TV is my life.

I love that Wandell guy, too, or, a happy note in a dismal game

Just about the only highlight worth mentioning from last night's lackluster performance by the Dallas Stars (love you guys, but, really…) was the couple of times Los Angeles Kings goalie Jonathan Quick (yes, really, Quick, and Daryl Raugh proclaims it the best goalie name in the NHL) got startled by Dallas Stars #23, Tom Wandell. The puck had been shot around the boards in LA's zone when no one was particularly near, and Quick leisurely swung behind his net to play the puck, as goalies are wont to do. Two times, though, as he was hitting the puck, he looked up and appeared to be startled by the fact that Wandell had suddenly appeared right in front of the net.

(For you non-hockey-fans, this is not a good thing for the goalie. If someone on the opposing team manages to get a hold of the puck he just played, the guy in front of the net is in the perfect position to tap it into the net—which the goalie left unprotected when he wandered off to play the puck. And because he's behind it, it takes him a few seconds to get back in place.)

Wandell magically "appeared" at the net because he's fast. I think (I have no research to back this up) he's the fastest skater on the team. When the puck flies down the boards and everybody take off after it, it takes about three strides for Wandell to be out in front. He's fast.

I noticed two times when Quick actually appeared to jump a little bit when he looked up and saw Wandell right there. After the second time, I'm guessing Quick thought, "Note to self: look for #23 before I do that again."

I love that Wandell guy!

And while we're talking about hockey, kudos to the Stars' marketing department for suddenly developing a sense of humor. The last two bobblehead night promotions have been great! (They showed a funnier version of the Jamie Benn spot at the game last night, though, that has him at the end, deciding not to shave.)

Steve Ott bobblehead:

Jamie Benn bobblehead:

Gratitude

I went to the oncologist today. I'm now on an annual appointment schedule, instead of semi-annual, and that feels like a very big deal to me. I think after five years I was officially considered cured (I'm at six-and-a-half now), but this is still a milestone, if only in my mind.

When you go to the oncologist and you're not very sick, you become very aware of the other patients in the waiting room, people who are very sick. I went first to the Breast Center, where I overheard staff members on the phone with patients who are deep in the middle of treatment, explaining the procedure for starting radiation therapy and scheduling appointments for consults with the surgeon and transferring calls to the chemo room. All that was before I went in for my quick breast exam, during which the oncologist and I chatted about the economy and our New Years resolutions. Then I went upstairs to the general oncology office to have my routine lab work done. As I got on the elevator, a woman approached and I held the door for her. She was obviously very sick and feeling terrible, shuffling slowly toward the elevator. I didn't have to ask what floor. I knew which office she was going to — the same one as me, only I walked easily to it and knew the "worst" thing that was going to happen to me in there was one little stick when they drew my blood.

Grateful. Grateful, grateful, grateful! And aware, all day, of how very, very fortunate I am.

Really, the jokes alone will be worth it

Yu Darvish. Texas Rangers. $60 million. Sixty. million. dollars. If they have to make that up through our ticket purchases, at $9 a pop (we really only go on promotional half-price-ticket nights), it's going to be a long, long haul.

But, really, the jokes about his name—all the many, many little puns and word plays—will be worth it.

The Rangers want Yu.
Yu did it!
Wash looks to Yu to pitch the seventh.
Who's on first? Yu. What…?

(And maybe a Whirling Darvish or two, just for variety.)

That's right. We're going to have our own version of Who's On First.

I'm not sure it's worth that kind of money, but I am looking forward to it.