Gratitude

I went to the oncologist today. I'm now on an annual appointment schedule, instead of semi-annual, and that feels like a very big deal to me. I think after five years I was officially considered cured (I'm at six-and-a-half now), but this is still a milestone, if only in my mind.

When you go to the oncologist and you're not very sick, you become very aware of the other patients in the waiting room, people who are very sick. I went first to the Breast Center, where I overheard staff members on the phone with patients who are deep in the middle of treatment, explaining the procedure for starting radiation therapy and scheduling appointments for consults with the surgeon and transferring calls to the chemo room. All that was before I went in for my quick breast exam, during which the oncologist and I chatted about the economy and our New Years resolutions. Then I went upstairs to the general oncology office to have my routine lab work done. As I got on the elevator, a woman approached and I held the door for her. She was obviously very sick and feeling terrible, shuffling slowly toward the elevator. I didn't have to ask what floor. I knew which office she was going to — the same one as me, only I walked easily to it and knew the "worst" thing that was going to happen to me in there was one little stick when they drew my blood.

Grateful. Grateful, grateful, grateful! And aware, all day, of how very, very fortunate I am.